How To Stop Painful Emotions By Turning Your Mind
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As a therapist, I highly recommend the book, The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay to further develop DBT skills. It’s an easy read that is enjoyable and helpful for you.
Introduction To Radical Acceptance
How To Stop Crying And Control Your Emotions | DBT TIPP
DBT MINDFULNESS
What is DBT Mindfulness?
The purpose of mindfulness is to reduce tension and stress. Also, the goal is to stay in control of your mind, and not let it wander off in all different directions. So, it’s really to help you stay in the the present moment. So, you don’t want to be focusing on your past, because we tend to focus on all the bad stuff that’s happened in our past, which will cause us to feel depressed. And we don’t want to focus too much on the future either, because then we tend to start thinking well what if this happens or what if that happens. So, focusing on what we think could happen in the future, oftentimes causes a lot of anxiety. So, we want to focus on the present moment.
So, in DBT, which stands for dialectical behavioral therapy, there is what we call wise mind, which includes a balanced amount of emotions and a balanced amount of reasonableness. So, to give you a visual, if you picture two interlocking circles, one circle is called your emotion mind which is ruled by your feelings, your mood, and your values. Now the other circle is called your reasonable mind, which is ruled by pure logic, is very task-oriented, and ignores feelings or values. Now, where the circles interlock is where we want to be, this is called the wise mind, which incorporates both the reasonable and emotional sides of your mind. So, in order to stay balanced and in our wise mind, we use core mindfulness skills. So, they’re two types of core skills one is called the “What” skill and the other one is called the “How” skill. So, when using the what skill, our focus is on observing, describing, and participating, by solely focusing on what we’re doing in that very moment.
For example, if you’re making a cup of coffee, instead of thinking about the million things you need to do that day that you really don’t want to do. You focus on observing your hand turning on the coffee maker, than you describe mentally what you are doing as you do it, so you say in your head “I’m turning the coffee maker on! Now, the “how” skill includes being non-judgmental, by being one mindfully, and effectively. So, what does this mean? Well, when we have depression or anxiety, we tend to think extremely negatively of ourselves and others as well. So, instead of criticizing something we perceive as being done incorrectly we, choose to be non-judgmental. So, for example let’s say you have a presentation at work, but you stand up to give your presentation and you start to stumble over your words. So, normally, you might think I’m such a loser, and I’m such a lousy employee. But, when you choose non-judgmental, you don’t even judge yourself for judging yourself at that moment. Instead you think everyone messes up sometimes, and then you focus on, one-mindfully, so you focus on what the next point you need to mention, and then you choose to do whatever you need to do to be effective, so that might be just taking a sip of water to give yourself a moment to gain your composure or perhaps you use a positive affirmation, like, I got this!
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness
DBT Emotional Regulation
Objective: Gain better control over your emotions
1st Name what emotion you’re feeling.
2nd Identify what event prompted this emotion.
3rd Interpreting the event: Explore the thoughts you’re having about what has occurred.
4th Acknowledge biological changes. Ex. Crying uncontrollably, clenching teeth, or tension in neck.
5th Notice after effects. Ex. Ruminating about what occurred
Fact-check: Are my emotions justified?
If yes: Use problem-solving skills, brainstorm solutions
Make a pros/ cons list.Make decision apply it. If not working, reapply these steps listed above.
If no: Use opposite action in order to distract yourself from emotion.
DBT Emotional Regulations Part 2
The goal is to reduce your emotional vulnerabilities and to create a life worth living.
A: Accumulate positive emotions by incorporating daily pleasurable activities.
B: Build mastery, meaning doing something that make you feel proud of yourself. For example learn a new language, or learn a new skill that has always been interesting to you.
C: Coping with future difficult situations by preparing ahead of time (see interpersonal skills video)
P& L : Take care of physical illnesses. For example if you get migraines perhaps invest in a cold compress especially made for migraines (see shopping link for recommendation). Also, this includes taking your prescribed medications.
E: Eating a balanced meal. Don’t skip meals, because this can increase your emotional vulnerabilities.
A: Avoiding illegal drugs
S: Sleep, get enough sleep to help keep your emotions more balanced.
E: Exercise, so each day try to get at least a little physical activity during the day.
Distress Tolerance
Do you ever feel overwhelmed with emotions? Do you ever have panic attacks? Distress tolerance skills is a way to manage those intense/scary emotions.
Use your five senses to cope with distress.
See: Counting what you see in front of you, looking at artwork on pinterest, looking at pictures of a vacation destination
Smell: Light a great smelling candle, bake some cookies
Touch: Creamy lotion, rubbing a soft teddy bear or your pet
Hearing: Develop a Feel Better music playlist
Taste: sour candy, hot candy, drinking a comforting drink, etc.
Distorted Thinking Patterns
Based on Feeling good -The new mood therapy by David d. burns, m.d.
All- or -Nothing Thinking:
You see things in black and white categories, because you perceive things to the extreme. It’s either all or good or all bad. If your performance falls short of perfection, you see yourself as a total failure. It causes you to fear any mistake or imperfection as meaning you are a complete loser. This will cause you to feel worthless and inadequate, which will cause you to feel constantly depressed. Therefore, your perception and reality will be extremely distorted. You will always feel disappointed with yourself, because no one is perfect.
Do you feel like you’re slipping back into depression and wondering what you can do about it? In this video, I talk about what I’ve found helpful.